1.Congratulations, is it your firstborn?!

I kid you not, I’ve actually been asked this by a “well-meaning” recruiter.

To give you context, this was over a phone call. I was talking to the company for the first time ever.

In all fairness, it could be an innocuous, innocent question from the recruiter’s perspective but it came across as probing.

All I’m saying is, one can tell if a question is just innocent or downright probing.

In short, a good old “congratulations” would’ve sufficed!

2. Would you be able to manage this job along with your baby as this is a full time job?

A. I’m not the first mother on the face of the earth to be managing a full time job along with a baby. Many mothers have been doing this since eons, with oodles of panache and grace!

B. If I’ve decided to interview with you and I am actively hunting for a job, it means that I’ve thought, deeply at that, about the well-being of my child while I’m away at work.

The above questions are also revealing of the company culture!

The gendered patterns of work in the home and labor market continue to be shaped by cultural norms that tie fatherhood primarily to full-time employment, and motherhood to child-centered caregiving and this, must change!